If We Were on a Gmeet Chatbox – Life Musing #3

If we were on a Gmeet chatbox I’d tell you it feels like a lifetime since I wrote here. My exams ended on 31st and I’ve been wanting to write ever since. I’d tell you every time I write here these days it feels like I’m a different person. And it feels kinda weird sometimes.

I’d tell you that I still haven’t gotten habitual to this keyboard. Seems like I never will. 😂 I’d tell you I’ve got a long break from college finally after four semesters and sometimes I end up looking back at these past four semesters and realise I’m clueless as hell and guess we’re gonna complete this graduation thingy being this way.

I’d tell you the other day I realised in about less than a month now my blog will be two and it feels too surreal. Seriously? You actually kidding me? Funny how every time I tell myself I’ll try to be a bit more regular on here and it never happens. The other day my friend was for some reason reading out the post dates on my blog and I just told myself I’ll give up on trying to be regular. I like to write on here whenever I feel like. And I don’t think planning or scheduling works for me. Um I did try and that just made blogging feel like a job so I gave up. (alright I just scheduled 1 or 2 odd posts…)

I’d tell you seeing this blog and my posting patterns sometimes feels like it mirrors my life in some ways. Why, life’s kinda sporadic these days. At this point I feel like I literally inhabit 2 entirely different and opposite worlds. Um.. different and opposite, does it even make sense? Anyway, it’s kinda hard to put what kind of 2 worlds I actually inhabit. Too contrasting. 🙂

I’d tell you that 7 years on trying to move on from a broken friendship its right now when I’m surrounded by people who care about me and around whom I feel comforted and belonged that I’m realising how all of it has impacted me. And hell it has been a ride. Who knew a broken friendship could have so much of an impact. I certainly didn’t. And at this point nothing really happened. It’s simply the time when we started drifting apart very slowly. You know? The bond kinda ebbed away. Friendships and I don’t seem to have a good time and someday I would really love to write about being disabled and friendships and how contrasting yet pretty disabled friendships can be, now that I’m slowly allowing myself to rediscover its joys.

I’d tell you that I finally am trying to get myself back to reading and I’m loving it so so much!!!!!!!!!!!! Whenever I read it’s like a reminder to me that some things are still the same. And I think sometimes you just need that when sometimes (as dramatic and cliché as it sounds) you look back and you realise you’re not the same person you were a week ago! Hell even a week seems a long time. Sometimes things end up changing in just about a few hours. Um, I don’t think I needed to know this right now, did I? But its ok.

I’d tell you I finished “Takeaway” by Angela Hui and IT WAS SUCH A LOVELY READ!!!!! I CAN’T RECOMMEND IT ENOUGH. The writing is beautiful. It’s so real and shows such a real and honest picture of being non-white emigrant in the UK. 

This was the perfect book to get me started on reading after what felt like ages. I was so happy when I found it on bookshare and literally had to stop myself from opening it during my exams specially since I had so much fun watching the author reading at the Jhalak prize ceremony!!! 

I’d tell you after what seems like ages yesterday I somehow found myself finishing a book in one sitting. I certainly did not know that’s gonna happen. It felt like I read this way after ages. Related so much to a book in ages. It was such a lovely read! I’m still a bit pissed that it ended so soon. It was so comforting to find myself reading this way. I literally forgot my friend had a flight and had to remind myself when she called me a few minutes before it took off.

Oh I think I forgot to name the book. 😅 its “when our worlds collided” by Danielle Jawando.

***CW///institutionalized racism, knife crime, life in care***

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The book’s lovely title speaks for it. 3 teenagers Chantelle, Jackson and Marc come together as they witness 14-year-old Shaq being stabbed outside a busy shopping centre in Manchester. Their world turns upside down as they try to navigate life after what they saw. Making efforts to find comfort in each other’s company as no one else around them will get how it feels.

I did not know I would end up relating to this book this much. I can see myself in all of their places at different times as I try to navigate and make sense of all the new bonds I’ve ended up creating with people from entirely different walks of life. There is something quite beautiful about this feeling. This inhabiting 2 worlds. it’s like you’re living in a perpetual state of contrasts.

My time on Twitter has taught me enough about the prevalence of racism. Contrary to what we’re made to believe it is still as real as it was earlier. Danielle’s writing is beautiful.

This is the first book I read from her and I’m in love with her writing. And the way she brings the characters to life. There is a way about her which makes this heavy read rather comforting and enjoyable. This is the 2023 winner of the children’s & YA Jhalak prize and IT DESERVES ITS WIN!

The isolation of one getting what you going through, of growing wayy too fast than you’d want to is real and this book beautifully depicts it. It made me look back on all the bonds I’ve ended up creating with people around me. This virtual world which is entirely different from the one I inhabit. And this feeling of relating to all these people in these strange yet lovely ways.. The comfort amidst the chaos keeping you going.

I cannot talk enough about this book without giving spoilers. So you know, JUST PICK IT UP WHENEVER YOU CAN!

I’ve already downloaded Danielle’s first book “and the stars were burning brightly” and am looking forward to starting it. The synopsis tells me it isn’t going to be an easy read by any means. I wonder why I picked it up. But am too excited. We’ll see what happens.

I’d tell you I LITERALLY CANNOT WAIT FOR ‘SPEAK NOW’ TAYLOR’S VERSION!!!! I LITERALLY WANT IT THIS MINUTE! I CANNOT BELIEVE WE CAN FINALLY PUT ALL THOSE SONGS ON LOOP AND WON’T HAVE TO RELY ON TOUR CLIPS!!!!!!!!!

I’d tell you the other day I was looking back at when and how Taylor Swift’s music came to mean what it means to me and I had such a fucking hard time tracing it because it seems like there is just no specific point I can remember when it happened! All I remember is I deeply relate to ‘speak now’ and this was perhaps the album which introduced Taylor to me. Don’t ask me when because I don’t remember a single thing about it. As I keep saying so much on here I did not grow up with Taylor.. But there is something about this album which just makes me more stoked! Maybe because there are songs I deeply relate to at the place I am in my life? Dunnow.

I’d tell you CIMORELLI SISTERS ARE JUST THE BEST BECAUSE LAST WEEKEND THEY GAVE US “SISTERS SING ENCHANTED FOUR DIFFERENT WAYS” AND I LOVED IT SO SO SO MUCH!!!!!!! I AM STOKED FOR THE RERECORDED VERSION OF THE ENTIRE ALBUM ESPECIALLY ‘ENCHANTED’ BECAUSE IT IS SUCH A GORGEOUS SONG AND IT HAS SUCH AMAZING STORYTELLING!!! THEY ALSO TOLD IN THAT VIDEO THAT THEY’RE WORKING ON ‘ENCHANTED’ AND I REALLY CANNOT WAIT FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!! BRING IT ON!!!!! I missed Lisa so so much though.

I’d tell you in case you’re reading this section being utterly clueless what I’m talking about please go listen to Cimorelli they’re highly highly underrated!

I’d tell you I had such a hard time trying not to swear too much on this blog right now.

I’d tell you today had been such a monotonous day I thought I won’t be able to write but I’m surprised I was able to write this much. I did not know I’d end up loving writing this series so much. But it makes me smile.

If we were on a Gmeet chatbox what would you tell me?

Khushi x